NGI-Proposal.md

@@ -17,17 +17,19 @@ Text for the **NLnet NGI MobiFree** application form (<https://nlnet.nl/propose/
 
 > *Abstract: whole project & outcomes*
 
-A solution for ordinary people to find their lost Freedom Phone or track and disable it if stolen.
+A solution for ordinary people to find their lost Freedom Phone or track and disable it if stolen. Ready to use, easy, reliable.
 
-"Find my phone" offerings from Big Tech are user-friendly but authoritarian. The Freedom Phones ecosystem so far offers only independent add-on apps that demand too much up-front effort to set up.
+Big Tech's "Find my phone" is user-friendly but authoritarian. Current Freedom Tech options demand too much up-front effort. This project bridges the gap.
 
-This project bridges the gap by building on existing freedom tech in this space (FindMyDevice, KDE-Connect, UnifiedPush), integrating it into a freedom phone operating system to make it easy and reliable. Defining published APIs and protocols, it enables third-party development of interoperable alternatives to its components such as the device sub-functions (GPS access, camera access, and so on) and the remote-access GUI. It enables service providers to offer custom hosted implementations, while maintaining full authority of owners over their devices to choose among providers or use entirely their own resources.
+It builds on existing freedom tech such as FindMyDevice, KDE-Connect, UnifiedPush. It overcomes two hurdles: (1) removing the need to choose, install, configure and grant permissions to the device software, by integrating it into a freedom phone operating system; (2) connecting to a service provider by default, without further set-up, if pre-configured by the device or OS distribution provider. Device owners retain freedom to choose a different provider or rely on their own resources.
+
+The project will publish its APIs and protocols, to enable open development of interoperable alternatives to its components such as device functions (GPS access, camera access, and so on), connection transports (including push notification) and remote-access GUI.
 
 Outcomes: proof-of-concept implementation; documented APIs and protocols; blog posts; outreach to potentially interested Freedom Phone organisations.
 
 > *Prior involvement*
 
-A little experimentation and self-hosting with projects in this scene including FMD & FMD-server, /e/OS, LineageOS, F-Droid & F-Droid-server, UnifiedPush & ntfy-server; building and deploying, contributing a little documentation, commenting on a few bugs and discussions.
+A little experimentation, building and self-hosting projects in this scene including FMD & FMD-server, /e/OS, LineageOS, F-Droid & F-Droid-server, UnifiedPush & ntfy-server; small contributions to documentation, bug reports and discussions.
 
 
 ## Requested support
@@ -47,7 +49,7 @@ Main comparison: FindMyDevice (FMD) by Nulide. FMD with optional FMD-server impl
 
 The comparison with KDEConnect is similar. KDEConnect provides a different range of remote-access functions, oriented to desktop-environment integration like clipboard sharing, rather than device management, but includes "ring the device". It requires similar contortions to grant permissions for its Android app. Rather than a dedicated server component, KDEConnect works peer-to-peer between mobile and desktop devices, running its transport over TCP/UDP.
 
-The comparison with the Big Tech duopoly is illuminating. They more or less require a single sign-in to their authoritative service when setting up their devices, and in order to continue using them. No additional action is required of their user in advance to activate the device finding functions.
+The comparison with the Big Tech duopoly is illuminating. They more or less require a single sign-in to their authoritative service when setting up their devices, and in order to continue using them. No additional action is then required of their user in advance to activate the device finding functions.
 
 > *Technical Challenges*